How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?

I haven't blogged in ages about my dogs because I have been too busy caring for them. My old dobie, Deon passed away last month after a long illness and how do you mend a broken heart? It has now been over 6 weeks and I still really miss him and become tearful when thinking of him. His remains are home with us, but it really doesn't make it any easier. He was a very special guy and probably because I cared for his medical needs to such an extent, this was harder on me. I have lost three other dogs over the past 10 years, but outside of the first one, this was the hardest. I still have two wonderful dogs with me, and I treasure them every single day.

Deon broke his femur last December playing with baby sister Diva in the backyard on a wet and drippy morning. It was a horrible break that required surgery with pins and a high-tech implant to stablize the bone. The only problem was he was big and goofy and never laid down but dropped down. This caused the pins in his leg to loosen and move until they were causing him an incredible amount of pain. Here comes surgery number 2. By the way, he was diagnosed with end stage renal failure during his first hospitalization prior to surgery. So when he came home he was on a special diet, medication, bottled water, etc. Surgery number 2 was really hard on him, but he pulled through but on his recheck appointments the bone just was not healing properly. We at first thought this was because of the kidney disease, but as time passed it became apparent that he was having like an allergic reaction to the high-tech implant. He finally had a third surgery to remove the implant and put an external skeletal fixator (ESF) in place. This is a large steel bar on the outside of the leg with screws that go into the bone to hold everything in place. It is gross since body fluids drain out of the screw holes and it must be thoroughly cleaned daily.

He was such a sweetie pie, he endured all of this pain and discomfort and was always his sweet self. By the time of his third surgery it was obvious that his overall health was in decline. We loved him and took care of him and then one day he was so sick he could barely lift his head. It was early July and I took him back to the hospital not sure if this was now the time or what. He was very unresponsive and so I called my husband and son to come and say goodbye. While I waited for their arrival - good old Deon got like a second wind and by the time they arrived, he was alert, his eyes were clear and focused and he looked like himself. When the vet returned to the room, she couldn't even believe the transformation. It was decided that he might just have a urinary tract infection which is very treatable and that he needed fluids since we appeared dehydrated. We agreed to let him spend the night in the hospital and brought him home the next day and he looked like HELL! All day long I thought we had just postponed the inevitable and just made him miserable. By the next morning he was back to his bright eyed self and I started giving him a liter of lactated ringers every day to keep him hydrated, along with his usual mixture of medicines. By this time, he didn't have any appetite for dog food, so I would buy chicken or inexpensive beef roasts, boil them down and add rice or barley and then puree them with water. He would not eat on his own so I would sit with him while he had his sub-q fluids going into him, twice a day this is how we lived. He would also eat vanilla yogurt, and some days he would put down almost a quart of yogurt. He loved the cool smooth yogurt sliding down his throat. Some days he would go for little walks, but he didn't have much stamina and would find a cool place a drop to rest.

We had a trip planned the end of July and we decided we would just take him with us. We had tickets to the US Men's National Basketball Team playing in Las Vegas before they left for the Olympics. So Auto Club was very helpful in locating a hotel that would take a 95 pound doberman. We stayed at the Loew's Lake Las Vegas and they are great! He loved to go to In 'N Out for cheesburgers or El Pollo Loco for chichen thighs. July turned into August and he would have good days and not-so-good days, but just when we would think that it was his time, he would wag his little docked tail and his eyes would be bright and focused and I just knew that until he couldn't respond I could not end his life. I spoke with his doctor on numerous occasions and he would tell us that with chronic advanced kidney disease - they usually needed help and would not just die on their own.

August turned into September and on the morning of September 3rd, he just didn't have his usual appetite for yogurt and isolated himself throughout the day. By mid afternoon, it was obvious that he wasn't feeling well, so my son helped me bring him in the house and Deon just dropped on the kitchen floor and would not move. We made him comfortable and I tried extra fluids, more pain meds, etc. and he would just lay there drooling. By dinner time we thought that this would be his last night with us and then it became apparent that we would need to get him to the hospital that night. My son said his good byes and my husband and I decided that after he got to bed we would take him to the hospital. I went up to say good night and my husband went to shower and when we came back down to the kitchen, Deon had passed away.

He had such a sweet soul and was totally unselfish. His baby sister, Diva sat watch that last day like she did every day he was not feeling well. We all miss him and his passing has left a big hole in our lives. Losing a loved pet is never easy, but this one was particularly tough! We love you Deon and you will remain in our hearts forever!